I’m a sucker for stories. From the time that I was a little girl, I’ve always loved reading books and escaping into another universe, one where I wasn’t the center of the story. Even now, I still love reading from my favorite fiction authors’ books. One is never too old for any book. It’s exhilarating to experience life from a different point of view, simply due to the fact that I’ve never experienced any life but my own.
In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a book. I’ve noticed a recent obsession of mine is hearing other people’s stories. I love hearing where people come from and what has shaped them to be the person they are today. I cannot remember a case where I didn’t grow to love the person more.
Here’s the deal. I still don’t know who I am. I’m 15. I am aware that I have no handle on this crazy thing called life. I have a wide set of talents, involving academics, sports, and music. Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed with trying to figure out which of those three broad areas I am most interested in, so I can best prioritize my time (see my last post). All of this stress is self-induced, yes, but once my head starts thinking, it doesn’t exactly like to stop. I feel above average in a lot of areas, yet not motivated enough to be amazing at anything… if that makes any sense. Writing that sentence down felt like the epitome of first world problems. But it’s true. I feel stuck, with no clear path to follow. At this point in my life, I’m just kind of doing everything –school, sports, and music– to see where I feel most comfortable.
This all leads up to why I love stories. As I explained, I’ve got no idea how to live my life (I still can’t believe I’ve made it a whole 15 years). The way I learn is by observing. I love to watch and listen. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I’ve been in the middle of TONS of conversations. You’d think I’d get bored. You’d be wrong. I could seriously listen to conversations for hours, soaking up every syllable. I take in each word, learning and applying. That’s why hearing about people’s backgrounds is so great. I learn about what made them who they are, what they choose as their identity. I observe what they have done and are doing, apply that in my own life, and develop my own version. I guess I’ve just sort of hoped that one of these days, someone’s going to tell me their story and it’ll suddenly click. Boom. I choose music. Boom. I choose writing. Boom. I choose ministry (although I have been warned extensively about this particular field. ;).
The truth is, that hasn’t happened, and it probably won’t. I have to decide. I’ve got several more years to decide, luckily. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t need to figure it all out. Instead of always planning ahead, it might be a good idea to take a step back and enjoy the amazing stage of life I’m in now, which is packed full of adventures just waiting to happen.